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Monday, February 14, 2011

S.O.B

Lost in translation: 


Sob in Indonesian = buddy, as in hey there bud. 
Sob in English = son of a b*tch, as in you bloody s.o.b. 


Warning: mixing and matching usage not recommended!




TW

Udon schmudon....


Jakarta, 14 Februari 2011 a.k.a Valentine's Day

Sejujurnya saya bukan tipe orang yang suka marah-marah dengan keadaan semrawut di Jakarta. Sebabnya,expectation saya sudah cukup rendah kalau mengenai Jakarta dan Indonesia in general. Bukannya saya jahat atau tidak percaya dengan kemampuan bangsa kita untuk maju dan menjadi lebih baik lagi (baca: lebih tertata dan tidak semrawut), tetapi kok sudah ditinggal empat tahun ke Amerika untuk kuliah, Indonesia, khususnya Jakarta, masih gini-gini aja, orangnya juga gitu-gitu aja dan pemerintah bilang gini-gitu tapi yang tambah tinggi bukannya  tingkat kedisiplinan, kejujuran, ketertiban, kelestarian and keamanan, tapi justru mall doang yang gedungnya semakin tinggi. Bagaimana dengan orang-orangnya? Sudah maju belum? Sudah ikut dibangun belum?

Weekend lalu saya pergi bertemu beberapa teman-teman lama dari Amerika yang kebetulan sudah for good juga untuk membicarakan proyek iseng-iseng bersama. Suasana hati kami bagus sekali namun semua itu berubah ketika kami memilih untuk makan di sebuah rumah makan Jepang mahal di Plaza Indonesia (silahkan ditebak sendiri namanya depannya “Ki” hahaha).

Kalau rumah makan sudah matok harga mahal, dan interior design-nya saja sudah heboh, ditambah lagi mbak-mbak dan mas-mas-nya ditugaskan untuk menyapa pelanggan dengan bahasa Jepang yang sebagian besar pelanggan saja tidak paham artinya, yha sini mau pelayanan ultra bagus juga donk!

Jadi ceritanya saya pesan Tempura Udon jam 20:30-an, salah satu teman saya juga pesan makanan yang sama. Pesanan teman saya keluar 20 menit kemudian, sementara punya saya baru disajikan 75 menit kemudian.

Kira-kira 50 menit saya menunggu, saya panggil pelayan rumah makan tersebut. Begini percakapan kami:

Pelayan: “Saya cek dulu yha kak?”

5 menit kemudian dia kembali.

Pelayan: “Wah order-annya keluarnya masih agak lama kak, kira-kira 15 menit lagi. Mau ganti saja atau mau ditunggu?”

Saya: “Kenapa lama banget yha mba? Saya udah nunggu 50 menit lho! Masa punya temen saya udah keluar punya saya belum padahal sama?

Pelayan: “Soalnya barengan order yang itu banyak kak!” (agak kesal)

Saya: “Yha tapi seharusnya ngga selama ini. Ya udah saya tunggu, saya itung 15 menit dari sekarang.”

Tidak lama kemudian, appetizer pesanan teman saya datang. Padahal, makanan utama mereka sudah habis disantap. Lucu kan?

10 menit berlalu saya panggil pelayan yang sama dan coba untuk cek apakah makanan saya masih di Jepang atau sudah mendarat di Indonesia.

Pelayan itu menjawab, “Itu kak sedang jalan ke sini sambil menunjuk temannya.”

Saya bilang: “Jalan? Suruh lari.”

Pelayan itupun menghilang. Lalu temannya datang dan mengajukan pertanyaan kepada saya, “Tempura Udon-nya… untuk kakak yha?”

Teman saya kesal, lalu menyindir, “Iyha, buat siapa lagi? Yang lainnya kan udah selesai makan. Cuma dia doang nih nunggu makanan sampe sejam lebih akhirnya baru dateng.”

Begini argument saya:

1) Loh kan siapa tau di dapurnya sibuk, jadi emang bukan salah mereka juga.

·      Loh mana gue peduli? Waktu rumah makan ini dibangun kan pake kapasitas. Berarti di dapur juga harus bisa mengatasi kapasitas tamu yang dateng. Mau rame kek mau semua tamu pesen Tempura Udon kek! I don’t give two shits because they should have known their capabilities! Kalo gak sanggup ngelayanin 100 orang yha bikin buat 50 orang. Kalo gak sanggup buat 50 orang yha bikin buat 25 orang, dan seterusnya. Kalo ngga sanggup sama sekali yha tutup aja tuh rumah makan.

2) Kasian mba-nya siapa tau dia shift-nya panjang.

·      Itu bukan urusan customer. Masa’ kalo orang bete terus jadi nyolot sama customer? Emang kalo arsitek lagi bete dan capek terus boleh bangunannya jadi miring? Terus kalo ditanya client dia jawab, “iyha saya waktu gambar lagi capek soalnya client saya banyak bukan bapak doang.” Emang acceptable kaya gitu?

3) Mungkin mba nya ngga ngerti arti appetizer apa makanya keluarnya belakangan.

·      Itu tanggung jawab management rumah makannya donk! Ajarin tuh appetizer itu keluar duluan bukan belakangan. Dan juga orang rame-rame dateng ke rumah makan itu mau makan bareng. Bukan yang satu udah beres terus yang satu makanannya belum dateng. Terus pas giliran dateng, eh temennya baru makan appetizer padahal entrĂ©e nya udah ludes. Gila yha?

Sebenernya solusi dari permasalahan kaya gini itu gampang;
Pertama, management harus tau kemampuan dapur dan pelayanan sehingga bisa disesuaikan dengan kapasitas rumah makan.

Kedua, pelayan harus diajarkan bagaimana minta maaf dan mengatasi masalah yang muncul saat jam operasi. Kalau di Negara maju, hal pertama yang akan diucapkan si pelayan adalah “I’m so sorry, I’ll check your order.” Dan itu juga dengan senyuman. Bukan justru defensive  dan menyalahkan ramainya pendatang. Biasanya juga kalau pelayanan buruk, customer mendapat discount atau complimentary dish. Atau setidaknya MINTA MAAF. Saya tidak mendengar permintaan maaf waktu kejadian menyebalkan di rumah makan Jepang tersebut. 

Ketiga, training yang regular donk! Terus terapkan SOP nya yang betul. Inspeksi yang betul. Jangan sampe tuh ada oknum-oknum yang membuat citra buruk bagi rumah makannya, walaupun saya juga tahu tidak semua pelayan di rumah makan itu NYOLOT!

Akhirnya kocek habis tapi yang ada saya keluar rumah makan itu yang ada cuma kesal.




ANM

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I went on a flight to europe, and checked in online when i flew out from Jakarta, and boy what a relief as there was a single person waiting on that line, while the line on the check-in desk is very long, 
When i flew out from Amsterdam i forgot to check myself online, and again.. boy what a relief as the line on check-in-desk is empty because everyone else has checked in online... 


i guess, that's the difference between a developed country, 
and Third-world one... 


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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Flyoff-ers

In a recent discovery, 


i was driving along Jl. Pangeran Antasari where they government or somebody else with a corrective-way-mindset of "making more roads will reduce traffic" is building a flyover, i noticed that they put this posters with pictures of lush forrest, spectacular scenery with mountains and trees and all to cover the construction that was operating behind it. 


i was like,.. "whhaaatt.....the???"
and the other thing that sorta pisses me off was that they put this sign in indonesian something along the line of "menjaga lingkungan untuk masa depan yang lebih baik" "to protect the environment for a better future" i was left speechless.  
Trying to think what was the whole concept of putting that kind of sign and posters to cover a massive construction that will just create more traffic in the near future. 
And of course after the construction is done, they'll put down the 'green' posters and put it somewhere else where they're building more road, shopping malls, etc. 


So, is this a lame trick to the less critical people of jakarta? trying to fool them by showing these posters, saying that they're trying to help the environment by putting a poster with lush forrest while behind it they're building a 2 lane-flyover that will not only going to be used by thousands of cars each day, but also block the sun light to roads underneath it, create more dust. Because there will be more cars passing by, there will be more pollution, not just the air, but the noise pollution too.


And if one builds a flyover to ... not reduce but more like remove-traffic, the cars will eventually come down to the existing road anyways,.. which god forbid will create more traffic, because indonesians, or more properly said, indonesian Drivers dont know how to drive properly (give way, and tolerate other drivers) combined with the lunatic-ly born "traffic fly" or what is known as, Motorcycles. 


I think the biggest problem here is that we and the indo government still think in a Corrective manner, instead of Preventive. The whole country based itself with that mentality, we correct things, we dont go back to the drawing board and turn into innovation. 


I also think now the old-fashioned people in the society is slowly replaced by the younger-new-skool kids that believes in revolution, invest in innovation, think more about emotional balance, than mere financial prosperity, and that sustainability can be seen almost like a religion that we believe in, not just a bumper sticker. We design to solve problems, not just to make things look pretty, we accept challenges and changes, we take risks!


Anyways, you know the biggest difference in traffic between a developed country and a developing country is?
in a developed country if cant go slower cos everything is already running at a fast-set-pace (speed limit). 
in a developing country you can go faster by just driving faster because there's no speed limit, unless there's traffic. 


Coming back to those forest-scenery posters, i've thought of an idea long time ago, of using such things to cover accidents on highways, since Indonesians always wanted to see/now what's happening if there's an accident which normally creates a long traffic because they have to slow down not to be-careful, but because they wanna see what happened, why dont they cover the whole scene with some posters of trees? 
they can still put the "save the environment" slogan etc for the sake of putting them on, but because that wont interest passer byers then it will make the traffic flow more efficiently. 


But dont put it to cover a massive road construction, 
that's just wrong man! 

Holidays for Cops

What would a bunch of cops do when they want to raise money for a holiday trip over the weekend? 

A random check around night clubs on saturday night

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Crashing into a Motorcycle in Jakarta

video

Driver colonized Malls

I hate Drivers in shopping malls parking area.


I drive by myself and quite often goes to this ... ugly-commercial-social-concrete-mass-with-mediocore-care-of-design-but has many lights and colors-place we call Shopping Malls! 


Being inside a mall with other hundreds or thousands (if during a public holiday or weekend) of people can already be a pain in the arse but, finding a parking is also a bitch!, not that i often couldnt find a bloody parking, but the fact that many or most of Jakartans now dont drive themselves and they hire these affordable souls called Drivers!, These,.. creatures mainly in the form of males drives their bosses up to the lobby and then goes to the parking lot to park or should i say hang out or doze themselves off before the bosses pages them back to the lobby to pick them up. 


Now, ive got no problems at all with that, 
but the thing that annoys me is that the drivers will drive around and around to find the closest spot to the lobby or entrance, and most of the time, they will park paralel-ly and wait until somebody drives out and then take the spot. 


Now,..this pisses me off! i guess they probably think that every car parked there is driven with a driver, the fact that they just squeeze their big arse and sometimes fight with another driver to get that space which is only rows from the lobby entrance. 
Fucking hell man! why dont u just be a little more sensible and park somewhere further?!?!? You dont have to walk, you just simply only wait in the car or most of the time sleep while waiting for the boss and once they call u, u just bloody drive off anyways, and give the spot to others that actually drive themselves! 


Plaza indonesia has realized this problem and have introduced a rule in Hyatt that the first floor is only reserved for people who drive themselves, even though there's still big cars with their drivers roaming around looking for spots or sometimes on disable spots or emergency exits. 


I think shopping malls should put this rule: Drivers should park on the very edge of the parking space, or the lowest basements with loudspeakers connected to the car-call receptions, give them benches and tables so they can hang out with other drivers etc and im sure they'll be happy and we can save around (im sure) 20-30% space of parking spots for those elder ladies that needs to carry their shopping bags from supermarkets to their cars, or mothers who has to control half dozen of their children running around with melting ice cream due looking for their car in the "global warming test-drive ground", or what i call underground Parking lot. 


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